One of the newer, more pervasive phenomena to hit men is porn addiction. The reason for this is the current ubiquity of the internet.

If you are middle-aged or older, you should recall a period where porn use was still considered a more taboo pastime, and access to it was relegated to hard copy and home video use. While there were and still are public venues for porn, its use was still greatly diminished when compared to today.

Fast forward to the present, and you will note there is now a whole generation of men who have grown up with porn on demand. Not only has the ease of accessing porn changed, but the mainstream attitude towards it has become more accepted.

The downside to this is the growing addiction to porn. This is not only meant in reference to the frequency of porn use but in its negative side effects.

It needs to be made clear that when discussing porn use associated with sexual dysfunction, studies have shown the link between masturbating while simultaneously watching porn. It is this specific activity that causes neural conditioning.(1)

When one matures and has no other frame of reference to what constitutes sex except for what they see in porn, this will tend to greatly skew real-world expectations. It is not uncommon for men in this scenario to experience panic and subsequent sexual dysfunction due to the difference between what they believed via porn use and reality.

Something else that needs to be considered is the emotional factors. Porn is a “safe” refuge for many, in that a viewer can choose, on-demand, their particular flavor of porn. The lack of emotional involvement in the acts furthers this feeling of safety, which tends to dissipate during a sexual encounter when one feels the pressure to perform.

When performed daily or even multiple times a day over the course of many years, and with no other resource to learn from, it is easy to see how this can become a serious issue when it comes time to participate in live sexual scenarios.

The issue may be compounded in men when the level of addiction becomes severe enough to warrant the use of harder pornography to get the same rush.

To begin attempting to restore the desired level of functioning and even self-mastery, the initial requirement is to give up porn. While the “cold turkey” approach would be most desirable, some find it easier to wean themselves off of it, over time. However, it is important to develop a strategy where setbacks do not ruin overall progress.

In conjunction with eliminating porn, beginning a targeted Stamina program will accelerate the retraining process, especially when used with Emotional Visualization exercises.

It needs to be understood that the process of retraining may take some time, and a period of adjustment should be expected. This will require approaching your training with an understanding but objective mindset. Create your initial baseline with your first sessions, and make it a goal to slowly, but regularly force a small amount of progress during each session.

Many people reach a breakthrough point in their training in the use of Emotional Visualization exercises where everything seems to just click. This is often termed an “epiphany” moment, and progress usually accelerates past this point.

In addition to the suggested training, above, one should do their best to keep themselves occupied to not fall back into negative patterns. Setting up porn filters on phones and other devices can be an effective deterrent. Participating in public activities will also preclude porn use. Intensive physical activity is also a good alternative to the time normally wasted on porn use.(2)

In conclusion, this needs to be seen as a lifestyle change. Have some compassion for yourself during the process, but commit yourself to progressing though your training in order to overcome this issue. This approach will make it easier for positive changes to take place.

Supporting references:

(1) Mil Med. 2019 Dec 1;184(11-12):731-737. doi: 10.1093/milmed/usz079.
Survey of Sexual Function and Pornography.
Berger JH1, Kehoe JE1, Doan AP2, Crain DS1, Klam WP3, Marshall MT1, Christman MS1. (see “Conclusions)

(2) Clin Psychol Rev. 2020 Mar;76:101828. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2020.101828. Epub 2020 Feb 3.
Short-term abstinence effects across potential behavioral addictions: A systematic review.
Fernandez DP1, Kuss DJ2, Griffiths MD3.

J Sex Med. 2013 Dec;10(12):2996-3005. doi: 10.1111/jsm.12160. Epub 2013 Apr 11.
Hypersexual behavior in an online sample of males: associations with personal distress and functional impairment.
Spenhoff M1, Kruger TH, Hartmann U, Kobs J.

Twohig, M. P.; Crosby, J. M.; Cox, J. M. (2009). “Viewing Internet Pornography: For Whom is it Problematic, How, and Why?”. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity. 16 (4): 253–266. doi:10.1080/10720160903300788.